They say with success, comes the loss of friendships. For some, gaining prosperity isn’t always received well by others. Sometimes people see us leading happy lives, achieving things and for some reason, it just bugs the hell out of them!
I heard a lovely quote recently from a friend, which goes something like “if you cry, I cry with you and if I celebrate, you celebrate with me- thats how friendship should flow.”
However, not everybody views friendship in this way. Some friends won’t congratulate you when you achieve something you’ve wanted. You might be doing so well in fulfilling your goals but when you look around you all you see is a lack of support, encouragement or blatant jealousy. If this is coming from those you thought were friends, then understand, it is toxic behaviour and not reminiscent of how a healthy friendship should flow.
How should a non-toxic friend treat me?
When it comes to knowing who we should have in our lives, the best people to keep around are those who can help us to shine and be the best versions of ourselves. Anybody who inspires, encourages, motivates, supports, or elevates you in any way is worth keeping around! If you have those kinds of people around you, then lucky you!
You’ve heard the saying, “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.” This is very true. A friend who has a negative behaviour can create a bad reflection on you. He or she can also be toxic to your well-being.
Many times, people have become successful with the support of knowledgeable friends who had the ability to inspire and mentor others. You probably do that for some of your friends- the ones who appreciate your help. You’ll also find that when you’re in need of an opinion or guidance, certain friends extend their ear, or provide wise words to direct you. These are the basic elements of a healthy friendship: compassion, empathy and love. All of these elements must be reciprocal in a healthy friendship.
Letting go of toxic friends
So what do we do about that one friend who brings nothing positive to the friendship? You know? The one who constantly displays selfish/boring/jealous/unhealthy behaviour? They waste your time as well as their own. You find that they drain your energy when you’re together, or maybe you just no longer share the same healthy interests because your life has taken a more positive turn than theirs. The worst thing is that they draw you into their wasteful life. The next thing you notice is how self involved they are. These are the signs that it’s time to exit the friendship and move on!
Leaving a friendship behind is not easy if you’ve shared a long history. But it’s important to keep in mind that life is too precious to stay in touch with someone who brings you down- especially if they do not/ cannot acknowledge that they are hurting you in some way. Such a lack of compassion or respect is not love- it is not a reflection of how a friend should treat another, it is toxic and in some cases, abusive!
Why would you want to accept anything less than true love and respect for yourself?